Thursday 23 August 2012

Maybe i'm just not as smart...

Hi... (:

Today was not a bad day in school, well i guess, at least i got B for maths for once. I'm just feeling very stressed up as i see people doing exceptionally well... Like for example, today i stayed back in school and got to realise that he scored so well for GP...I wish i didnt have to talk about results with him... I'm not sure if he likes talking to me about such stuffs, but it makes me feel so inferior. He's like way way way up there.... On one hand, he's telling me not to feel stressed, and on the other, he's telling me about his results which i can never dream of getting... So am i supposed to feel stressed? i don't know, but i certainly do feel so. 

Don't really know how to tell him about how i feel, well i am supposed to feel happy for him... I don't know why i'm just so dumb and never as smart as him. I wonder where's the fairness in life. I wonder why they say we are actually SUPPOSED to be born just as smart as each other. Alright that's enough. I don't really feel like talking about it anymore. 

Wednesday 22 August 2012

bottled up

Hi guys! I'm back (:  I've been so caught up with school lately, i hardly even have the time to watch television... Sigh...

Well, so many things happened recently, i don't even know where to begin... A's in 74 days, and i still feel unprepared for so many topics... I don't know how i'm going to get through this... there are times when you just feel like giving up, breaking down and just hoping that time would stop, but reality hits you- time waits for no man. The stress level is crazy... I don't even know if i would be able to pull through this. No matter how much i study, it doesn't seem like it's enough. Another test, another disappointment... i don't understand what's wrong with myself when i see others excelling in their academics. It's just discouraging, utterly, bitterly, disgustingly demoralising.

It doesnt help much when most people are only for themselves either. No one really cares about you, or maybe just superficially. i dont know who i can trust anymore... People are not as simple as they seem to be. Maybe i shouldn't even care so much about it. Honestly i just want to isolate myself from the rest of them... Does everyone backstab each other in today's world? I'm just so confused, and so dejected. I don't know why i'm blogging either. I guess it's time to hit the books once again...